So I have decided to change the name of my thread. Confused & Lost just doesn't resonate anymore. I'm neither confused or lost. Given time and a lot of serious reflection, I know that my WW didn't make the choices she did because of any feelings about me. Her waywardness is / was (hopefully) a direct reflection of her feelings about herself. I no longer feel lost because either way my MR turns out, I know that I'm going to be ok. I couldn't say that 6 months ago and definitely couldn't say that a year ago. Through The Storm is much more fitting not only for myself, but I think would suit many of us.
I definitely still have my guard up. WW and I have been spending time together and talking quite a bit. I don't trust it yet and I'm really trying to keep the focus on being confident in myself. She is still saying all of the right things, and her actions are matching for now. It is so nice to hear her tell me that she wants to spend the rest of our lives together making up for all of the pain. I feel heard and understood, validated even. This in no way will be an easy road for us, but I so hope that we make it to the end together.
Speaking of validation. I have been practicing this skill in many areas of my life for the past few months and it has blown my mind how much validating has improved my relationships outside of MR. My biggest weakness in my professional (and probably personal) life has been actively listening to someone when they speak to me. As a manager of several dozen people, my job is often very demanding. I constantly have to multitask and when team members need something from me, I have a bad habit of hearing them but not listening. Since practicing validation, I have grown the respect and depth of my work relationships tremendously. It makes me feel really great to know that teammates feel heard and feel important.
I hope everyone is having a great week thus far!
KG
LBW 32 - me WW 31 T 7 M 4 No Kids 4 dogs
Separated 1y Navigating the mine field and GAL with or without
