Thanks FS. TBH...deep down I think I always knew that Jack and I didn’t have a long term future so I’ve been preparing for a break up this whole time. I suspect that he has been too which is why I think it will actually be quite easy for us to maintain a friendship. Neither of us feels hurt by the other. Like you so accurately noted...I didn’t lose myself in this relationship and neither did he. I have a history of going “all in” and losing myself which is a big set up for heartbreak so I’m glad I didn’t do that this time. This is the new DV I guess.
Thankfully, though, I don’t think the new DV has lost her ability to trust other people which I am glad about. Speaking of that... I watched a documentary the other day on Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver and the story of the demise of their marriage due to his long term affair with their housekeeper. One of the questions that kept coming up was how it was that she didn’t know what was happening “right under her nose”. How could someone so intelligent not see what was right in front of her face? I wondered that about myself numerous times and spent some time feeling pretty stupid when XH’s double life came to light. Anyway...they interviewed a divorce attorney who looked as if he was nearing the end of his career and he said, in his experience, there are two kinds of people in a marriage. The first is someone who always trusts their spouse and the second is someone who never trusts their spouse. Maria Shriver is one of the first people. She didn’t see what was happening because she wasn’t looking for it...she trusted him completely. I realized that I am one of those people too. It helps to know that.
