Cross countries separation EU

[Pack_19]

hi all,

I have an important question I want to ask. After spending a month in Spain there have been some good and bad interactions but I did not get the chance to talk to her privately. When I talked to her calmly and asked about this she claimed it was my fault because of my attitude and that I am putting pressure on her.

I read everyday the 37 rules and try to interiorize them and I need to leave her space and time. Yesterday I saw her to give the children back before I came back to Germany. I noticed she has tattooed a little triangle on her arm and I asked her since we always said we liked it but we would not mark our bodies forever. her answer was I do not know her at all.

She has not filed for divorce but we have to confirm the separation agreement next 4th February. As we spoke before I have requested the service of a second lawyer to change the agreement but she threatened me that if I do not do so I will not see the children as often as I am doing it now. I have a terrible internal struggle, I want to save my marriage so I want to avoid conflict with her but at the same time I will not reaffirm a separation agreement where the pension is unfair and my family does not get time with my children if I am not there with them. How am I supposed to approach this situation when I know it will lead to conflict but I do not want to start divorce and I want to transmit to her that I love her and that I want to fight for our marriage but not at any cost?

Please help me, I am feeling terrible. She has threatened me again saying I am harassing her and she has told me she hates to have a broken family but she cannot be happy with me. Eventually I left and I flew to Germany with a very sad spirit.

If she wants a kind and distant father, she will get one, a loving one but I have made the strong commitment to turn the 37 rules into my bible. I do not want this to turn into a conflict but she is vindictive. Both on christmas eve and new year I got no message from her, I guess this is normal but it did hurt.

I know the tattoo thing is tiny and stupid but it really got me as one of those things she is doing to get a life away from me, something she would never consider when with me. We had our first son when we were both 22, maybe she feels as if she has not lived through the crazy years, I dont know but she still gets me. It [censored] she has the ability to hurt me so much.

Something I have noticed as well is the way she talks to me. She gives me orders as in tell me when you are giving me back the children or come now or tell me when your next flight is. I try to be respectful and give her space and time but it scares me to death that my marriage might be over. I know I must accept is a possibility but after only 5 years, without getting any external help or talking to the family, it really feels as if we do need a second chance. I dont know, maybe I see the good memories or see the way my children are being affected by this and I want to put an end to it too soon when my focus should be on permanent change and no MR / R talk ever. What a nice new year resolution, to implement LRT properly, because my marriage depends on it!

Hopefully, as Michele states it, she does not know that one day she will join forces in the fight for our marriage. All people keep telling me to give up and take my marriage as dead. It is hard not to agree with them after the way she is behaving but I am on my own path, GAL and no pursue at all.