I just really miss her, I'm keeping busy, and everyone tells me how happy I seem, but it is hard going to bed in that empty bed.
It's awful at first but you get used to it. At first I laid there feeling so lonely, but eventually I learned to enjoy spreading out and taking the whole bed to myself! All these years later I can tell you that I honestly like sleeping by myself now that I'm used to it.
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I know we are supposed to not waste energy on hypothetical situations, but it's hard not to have some hope that I will get a chance to show her I still love and appreciate her.
A lot of people here talk about "hope" like it's a bad word and I've never understood that. Hope is powerful, it will get you through the worst of this and help you survive and eventually thrive again. I convinced myself that I would be among the small percentage of people that eventually reconcile. When things looked bleak I just reminded myself of that- I WILL RECONCILE! And that gave me motivation to keep going. The irony is I never did reconcile, but that hope and positive thinking got me to the point where eventually it didn't matter whether I reconciled or not, because I was happy again even without her. So have hope that you will get back together, because as bleak as it seems, you might yet! One thing all the people here who have reconciled have in common is that they all thought it was completely over at some point.
