OwnIt. - Thanks for the reference for first awakening. I did find an article, and I can see H in it. I have decided to still move forward with everything.
DnJ - Good insight as always, and prompted me to mull over a few things.
Originally Posted by DnJ
How far did you come to forgiveness? How much empathy? I have a pretty good idea my good friend, however I think it would be really good for you to actually write it down.
If you know the answer, I'd like you to write it down for me! Just when I really believe I've forgiven, I get a mean streak and want terrible things to happen to H. I dwell on all the wrongs against me. That doesn't sound like forgiveness to me. Empathy and compassion I have, I believe. Heck. That is ME to the core for almost anyone. But forgiveness? Not sure about that one.
I have been starting to look at my reasons to push the D along. The piece of paper I do not believe will change my path. However, it would be freeing financially. Get the house paid off, change my investments, be able to spend as I want without worrying if it would come back to bite me if H decides to not play nice any more. Anyway. I want it all done for the right reasons, with no regrets.
Perhaps the D isn't really my choice, but it's necessary to finalize something H put into play so long ago. H divorced himself from our marriage long ago without my consent. Perhaps I'm only just making it legal.
