Kindly, you do have to find the humor where you can--it is a must to survive.
Mine is a professional with a very big and important job. His job loves him. He's gotten several promotions through this. He gets a lot of supply from the job so he has become a workaholic to soak up all the praise and adulation he gets there.
I have not had one person from his life contact me (other than OW1--she said he was manipulative, a liar, and all her friends hated him) to convey any concerns about his behavior or what he was doing. His family that he previously wrote off and had nothing to do with for 25 years appears to have welcomed him back with open arms. I don't think any but those very close to them see anything wrong.
I have gone up to 1.5 years without seeing mine (and with him not seeing my kids). He has stalked me throughout though and done creepy things and I've kept a side eye on his actions from afar). I can tell you with absolute certainty that he sees the changes in me. How? I don't contact him unless it absolutely necessary (and even this has been 1-2 times per year with two kids), I don't cry when I'm around him, I don't do anything to seek his attention, and I no longer take the bait when he tries to temp check me or find out if I still care. When I stopped manufacturing reasons to contact him or see him, he started manufacturing reasons to see me (usually through settlement/divorce talk that goes nowhere). I've also dropped tons of weight and keep better care of myself. That I know he sees, but won't acknowledge.
They do see you. They do see the changes. But only when they are real. Only when you really drop the rope. Its an energy, it's things we can't control.
You may not want to hear this, but while you really want him back now, chances are you won't by the time he would actually come back. I get somewhat sick at the thought of mine touching me, or even talking to me about anything other than logistics. I see him as a weak, sad, tainted man. None of those things are attractive. Then I look at my children when they are hurting and sometimes I do hate him, but usually for just a moment.
