Going to try and move forward. I am disappointed in how I responded this weekend. I learned she was trying to record me having an outburst or being upset. I feel like she was trying to push me to that point. She claimed the only reason she did it was so she could show her mother how unstable I am. This life has become a circus and I am convinced she truly sees me as the enemy. I just hate this for our 13yr old S.
What did she do and how did you respond this weekend? I didn't see any posts from you from those days. Just from the hints you give above, she seems VERY wayward, still. Trying to justify her actions to go along with her selective memory of your MR (only remembering the bad and none of the good) so that (as she hopes) she can ride off into the sunset with OM and live happily ever after and get a favorable divorce settlement and every one will love her and there will be unicorns and puppy dogs for everyone etc etc etc. At any rate, i'd be curious to hear about it. From your perspective, just need to try to stay lovingly detached. Be as cool and indifferent as you can (indifference, btw, and not "hate", is the opposite of "love")
I was frustrated because I had a ballgame Friday night. Our son stayed at her mothers house and it was kind of a trigger due to the last time I had a game she met up with him. I mentioned something to her about it. She was upset and played it off ignoring me.
On Sunday she mentioned moving out and leaving me with the mortgage and other bills and I got heated. She began talking about OM and how it wasn't fair to him or me for her to be living like this which I took it as she was moving out so she can be exclusively with him. Needless to say I got angry and even more angry when she began making demands about me paying the mortgage and other bills as well. I felt like she is wanting to move out and possibly sticking me with most of the bills.
I am just disappointed I didn't validate and play it off like I needed too. Shouldn't have got angry and raised my voice. Need to respond better and validate when she mentions these things. I think she mentions them to get a rise out of me. I know that it is best if she moves out. She has always threatened divorce and moving out so that it will get me heated, but mentioning the OM and his plans etc.. is what really gets me pissed. It just verifies that she is in constant and detailed communication with him. How she can sit there and discuss details. She claims they have agreed to end it and that he is using tinder to start going out on dates. I know....., I told her I didn't care and I didn't care to hear about the OM.
I am going to IC starting next week. The trauma of the details and what I have continuously been through will require me to get help. I can't do it alone.
At any rate, i'd be curious to hear about it. From your perspective, just need to try to stay lovingly detached. Be as cool and indifferent as you can (indifference, btw, and not "hate", is the opposite of "love")