Hi cardinal. Thanks for checking in, I was just coming here to post my update.
Since I last posted, my H has been spending more time here with us, and seeming closer and closer. The today, he texted me the following:
Hi. As you know I want to proceed with the divorce. I am going to drop the financial disclosure off to you tomorrow, and as hard as it is to talk about I am hoping we can discuss things around that. Our progress appointment is next week Tuesday. I want you to know I would never try to take her away from you and I’m not going to leave you hanging financially speaking. I just want to know what I’ll be able to accomplish with regard to affording a place where she can have a space of her own. I’m sorry if this bums you out. It brings up a lot of emotions for me too.
Though I shouldn’t be, I’m completely shocked. I let myself get caught up and got my expectations and hopes up, even as I told myself I wasn’t doing just that. And even though I’m stronger than I was, I’m devastated right now. I really thought there was no way he’d turn away again, it would just be too strange after the way things have been. But here I am. No mention of any of this over the past 2 months, and he hits me with it a week before our court date. As usual, I don’t totally believe him, but I have no choice but to take it at face value and go along with the next steps. I allowed my heart to be broken all over again. I’m so confused and so disappointed in him and in myself. I don’t know what to do next, except that I need to go along with what comes next, and I need to completely stop the family time and whittle it down to as little contact as possible...? I don’t even know anymore.
