Steve I appreciate the feedback. You hit the nail on the head when you said the real money is in detachment. I know I'm really, really struggling there. He's in the home. He in fact, always comes home. He's on the couch. Not allowed any where near the MBR. But home. And I think the physical proximity makes it difficult. We're not exactly working with 3000 sq ft. On top of that he seems to have no intention of moving out any time soon, and a, frankly, vague interest in actually pursuing and filing a damn thing.
I just need to just buckle down and work at it everyday.
As far as relationship talks, made an agreement to not say a word about about the relationship until March 1st. Even if he can't be held accountable, I can. So mum's the word. I don't anticipate having any kind of conversation with him about that stuff any time soon. It's always business with the kids and the household when we do actually talk. And I've had a lot of chances to exercise validation and restraint because on his good days he likes to pretend we're friends and that I care about what ever work/friend/kid story he wants to tell me that day.
Lastly, the worrying about what he's saying. I'm trying very hard. And I'm failing. While I know I shouldn't care, my depression being ramped up starts to ramp up my anxiety and I worry what the ENTIRE world is thinking of me. When I'm balanced I'm the kind of girl who could give a flying flip about anyone else's opinion. Which brings us back to the detachment I guess. I've had my meds up, but it takes time. All of it takes time I guess.
