U, sorry you are going through this but I feel like your options were limited to these for a while now. You should read back through your threads and I am guessing you can see that you were probably picking option 2 for a while now. It appears that now you are more aware which is not necessarily a bad thing in terms of planning your next steps.
What is your concern with option 1 that makes you think the kids will suffer more than the current sitch (unless you were hoping you could R with your WAW)? If you retain a lawyer now for legal advice and consultation, your WAW may not even know that till you initiate some legal action against her, right?
