One thing you need to come to grips w/is that the old marriage is dead, gone. If, and when, you and your h reconcile, it will have to be a brand new relationship. You cannot go back to the old ways because neither of you will be the same once his crisis is over. You both will have grown by leaps and bounds and at that point, you will be the one to decide whether to try again, not him.
For now, breathe, it's okay to cry and grieve for the loss of the relationship/marriage. It's never easy, but you will need to pick yourself up and think about selecting a lawyer to help you make some decisions. Once you receive separation/divorce papers, you need to look at your situation as a business deal gone sour. Think w/your head and not your heart when dealing w/the separation/divorce. Do not allow him to sway you w/promises of what he will or will not do for you because they change their minds entirely too quickly if things do not go their way.
Breathe! Be kind/gentle to yourself today.
Thx job! Being kind to myself is a struggle for me too. I will re-read this. Having learned how much h has suppressed his feelings and “runs/hides” as a people pleaser...how do I even hold out hope for a R when he has never ever “looked within”...how can he possibly start now? Also, do MLCrs ever realize the extent of damage they’ve done/ hurt they’ve caused? I feel like if they do, how on earth do they ever feel they can return?
I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m super attached still ...I know I’m not detached yet but I am less asking the above out of desperation and more out of interest /curiosity about this MLC journey.
