Thank Litb, Your response comes at an odd time because we just had another fight, well, H was angry and trying to draw me in. It started because our D wouldn’t clean up before her play date. She kept putting it off and sulking and we were both calm and then I said I was leaving without her if she didn’t pick up. H finally raised his voice at her and I, made the mistake of saying that he doesn’t have to get critical. Well, that set him off. He said if I didn’t want him to be an involved parent that he could make that happen, he said he doesn’t have to sign the closing papers, he accused me of being passive aggressive and controlling like I was in the place we moved to because I asked that we not discuss adult topics in front of the kids, he accused me of talking to “whoever” I was talking to about our issues (my counselor). I really tried to remain neutral which pissed him off. I said I didn’t wan to talk in front of the kids, that we needed to set aside time when they couldn’t hear. I did remind him that he asked for space 3 weeks ago and that’s why we haven’t talked about the marriage and now he’s demanding we talk about the marriage. I ended up leaving the house with D to take her to playdate. I was shaking. I’m still emotional. I did validate and reflect back to him that he must be frustrated, that was one of my strong points in the interaction. It’s so hard to remain calm especially when he threatens to leave and starts being critical of me.
