The age difference was always a factor in Jack’s and your relationship. You were not the only one to feel a little uncomfortable, Jack did too, not with you but how his family would respond.
Your joint discussion and choice to break up was a mature and honourable way. And I understand your feelings towards Jack’s possible future employment opportunities and him having to turn them down.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
I told her that she likely wouldn’t be seeing too much of Jack after he goes home this time and why. She said she understood and that she likes him but she gets why we wouldn’t necessarily be a fit long term. I told her that I was feeling kinda bad for introducing him to her and her brother so early on but she said she prefers it that way. She’s not worried about getting too attached to anyone because she has a dad. But she said she doesn’t like the idea of me dating anyone she hasn’t met. She said if I was going out with someone, she would want to know who that person is. D12 really is an old soul sometimes.
This is gold. Ensure you listen to what she asked.
Who you date isn’t “really” D12’s business, and yet kind of is at the same time. It’s more that she knows you are dating than who. Of course meeting that person after a certain amount of time is appropriate. She cares about, and shows concern for, you.
Do as requested. Daughter is learning how to date. You are her role model, and she is watching. You are setting a fine example of how to be open and honest when dating and a good and proper way of breaking up. She needs to know this; just keep being you.
I know you feel bad for introducing D12 to Jack and now things are changed. However, she’s actually asked you to not change. That is a pretty big validation from her. It is also a foretelling of how she will probably behave. Introducing you to her boyfriends, looking for your approval, and such.
Our children see their MLC/WAS parent go off the rails, and they hopefully get to see the other end of the spectrum as well. That’s on us LBSs to do. And you are doing really well.
I am glad you like my take on things. You deciding to continue on this forum is something I am happy about. Your courage and the realization that H really can’t do too much to you anymore is good to see. Hopefully he just goes about his life, and keeps coparenting well.
I would give yourself some time before meeting up with Brook. His chance entrance into your life was a catalyst of you looking at your R with Jack; it was not the reason. Best to keep those separate. You were concerned and questioned what ”Brook” meant regarding the R. You found some answers; find the rest. Then ease back into the pool.
Besides there is an inquisitive old soul watching and learning.
This was just one of life’s curveballs, and you have much to be proud of.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
