I wouldn't talk too much to his family as blood is thicker than water and they may attempt to talk to him. The more they attempt to talk to him, the more he's going to pull away and who knows what story he will spin to make you and the marriage look bad. It's best not to share too much because it will make things harder for him to return home to you, if and when he comes to his senses.
MLC is all about depression, confusion and searching for that illusive happiness. Does he appear depressed or confused at times?
Passive/aggressive behavior is a "learned" behavior and more than likely he learned to keep his feelings stuffed down at a very early age in order to keep the peace or stay out of trouble. They are very moody people and react on a dime because their journey is an emotional and spiritual one. We do not have any idea just how deep the hurt and painful scars are because we don't see them and because they have stuffed their feelings way down into their souls for a very long time.
If he's not brought up the separation/divorce, then let it be. The more you give him space and time, the better. Sometimes they will use the "divorce" word to get us to back off and just leave them be. They do like to have control and threaten us at times just to reel us back in and keep us right where they left us pre-crisis. They do not understand that time doesn't stand still and we have to continue moving forward. The time clock is very, very slow because of the depression.
My advice would be to step back, leave him to his space and be cordial if he speaks to you. Keep your responses on point and not lengthy conversations because they can't handle long conversations or text messages. Their brains are like swiss cheese and they do tend to forget very easily and get sick more frequently during the crisis.
Dig deeper for patience and keep the focus on you. Sit quietly and the answers will come...but if you aren't in a hurry for a divorce...don't bring it up. If he does, then you can address it. If he's ranting about something, just say "I'm sorry that you feel that way" and walk away. Do not get into arguments w/him if you can avoid it. They are miserable human beings and they do not want to see others happy.
Keep the focus on you, live your life to the fullest as if he may not return.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
