I cheated, we survived, now my wife's cheating

[JC08]

She'll call about something to do with kids, then she'll use the opportunity to make jabs or comments. Last night she asked a few things concerning basketball schedule for our oldest girl. I answered questions, then her go to after I make the the conversation short is to ask if I'm upset or mad, I say no not at all, just have some things I need to get done and that I thought everything about the kids was discussed. She then said something along the lines of, fine don't talk and communicate with me, I can't believe you are being this way, you know me better than anyone for 16 years, and now you won't even talk to me, I never thought that day would come and it breaks my heart. My response was I am willing to communicate about the kids, but that is about it, this is what divorce kinda is and that was what you wanted.

She then got super upset, yelled that I caused her to talk to another man, that atleast she can trust him, and a couple other things. At that point I said that I'm going to get off the phone, that I answered all the questions pertaining to the kids and was not rude or angry and that I'm not going to get yelled at for nothing. She started making some other comments and I just said I'm going to let you go and I'll see you and the girls at the games tomorrow and hung up.

I almost hate answering the phone, everything had been discussed via text, but she calls to pretty much ask if I'm mad, why can't I be more talkative, why are my answers short, then uses that as an opportunity to make her comments, justifications, or push blame for the situation squarely onto me, and she does it without any relationship talk from me.

I have read the boundaries thread, I'm going to have to read it again and get better at enforcing them. Because I pretty much cut her off and said I wasn't going to be yelled at and was ending the conversation she will make jabs about, "well I can't talk or you'll just hang up on me", and I guess my natural tendency is to defend myself when she does that and I know that nothing I say will matter and it just drags into bad conversations, which she seems to love to do at this point it seems.

I'm seriously considering when she calls, not answering, and just texting her to find out if something was needed, then if it's kid related I can respond or otherwise see what she wants. Because almost Everytime she calls it turns into something similar to last night.

And yesterday was a pretty good day until that, I don't know why her crappy comments drag me down so bad but they do, which is just another reason I need to stay away from phone conversations because it goes that way almost Everytime, while texting it doesn't seem to happen and I have more control over the conversation.