How do I Save this?

[SteveLW]

First.... Doesn't matter who makes more, the agreement should be 50/50 on everything house related. Each pay for their own car. Of course he's upset as he is trying to have his cake (being single) and eat it too (enjoy the additional income you provide). One of my favorite DBing tactics is to call the WAS' bluff, which is what you did. "You want to be separate, then we separate finances." You gave him a huge dose of reality.

In my sitch my W had a plan that she hadn't thought all the way through. "I want to get a job, get an apartment, and get a divorce." On day 3 after I heard this plan I remembered DBing. She had an EA in 2005 which is where I found MWD. I started to embrace her plan though I was clear my preference was staying together and working on things. She would ask questions about the costs of things (I do all the bills). I told her I'd buy her anything she needed. Resume writing books. Interviewing technique books. (She hadn't worked since 2004.) Slowly she started to back away from her "plan". She worked on her resume one night and most the next day, never finished it. That's how I knew she wasn't serious about her plan.

Reality is the only thing that can shake them free of their delusions. But here's the thing.. You cannot do things purposely to try to shake them free. You have to really move on and do the things to move on. Sometimes they wake up in time, some times not. If you try to manipulate him he will see through it.

So this long diatribe is to say that you need to move on this finance splitting. He will continue to cake eat if you let him. I'd highly consider having a lawyer draw up the agreement so he knows you're serious about it.

As far as not wanting him to live there, you can ask him to leave but you can't make him at least in most cases. Consult a lawyer on that as well.