I don't even know how you're doing it, because my sons are much younger and I already feel like it's sooo hard sometimes to keep up the front... yet your daughters are much older and I'm sure much more perceptive to the new dynamic in your M.
Keep your walls the same height. That's what detaching is all about, doesn't matter what kind of person he is today, you behave the same way. If he's being a good H and father today, be lovingly detached. If he's being an a**hole the next day, be lovingly detached. Aim at keeping your PMA everyday. Stay strong.
The 17yo knows some. She has a super high EQ and was asking what was up before I was ready. She knows we are struggling and he’s more to blame which is why he’s on the couch. She’s confident we’re having a rough patch and we’ll get through it. The 15yo is, bless her heart, in her own little world most of the time (think Luna Lovegood) and hasn’t even noticed him sleeping on the couch. Explaining where he is when he’s gone for hours upon hours or rolls in at 4 am more than once a week is a little harder.
As far as the walls go. Logically I know. Protect my head and my heart first. But I struggle when I see the person he was just a few short months ago.
And thank you Woosa. I appreciate the encouragement
