Hey LB, was thinking about you the other day. Hope this Christmas was about a million times better than last Christmas for you.
Thanks for thinking of me! I'm not on here a ton anymore, probably check in once every 2-3 weeks. Nothing much has changed in my situation.
I am doing better for the most part, there are still days that stink, mostly when I hear from W so I guess im still affected by that. Most recently she told me my son had homework over the Christmas standdown. I picked them up on the 20th. Never thought to ask as its christmas break and i never had homework over christmas break. She waited until Christmas eve to let me know about the homework. We worked some of it christmas eve. I didn't have him work on it Christmas day. The kids went back to her on the 26th. Then I get a message that I am an irresponsible parent and am putting a ton of stress on my son and W because now he has all this homework to do that I failed to get done.
Christmas was better this year, spent with my sister and family, kids were with me this year. We had a great time and the kids really appreciated being with family and having a relaxing holiday. Their behavior changed dramatically over the week they were with us. Went from being entitled brats to helping with the dishes voluntarily within just a few days. They stopped playing on their tablets mostly voluntarily to spend time with their cousins. So all in all, a good change from last year!! Son shot a deer, so we got to celebrate that and do lots of work to get all the meat put away.
Still not sure what I should do with my situation. I know I don't have to do anything and that the feeling of 'doing' something is just an illusion that wastes time and money. I want to be done with this most days; yet there are days where I would still consider going back. Not sure why I would; she is so toxic and vengeful I am not sure I could ever risk going through this again with her...she hasn't done any work on herself...still just blames others for her problems. Uses the guilt card incessantly. But as long as there is someone to blame...the problem is solved from her point of view. I am tired of being blamed, even if I can recognize that I am not actually at fault for most of the things. Its tough to take on a regular basis.
Hey LB - good to hear from you!
I imagine it must be tiring to hear of how things are all your fault. My W did that for months before I told her point blank I was not interested in hearing all my faults again. For me, it worked - after I said that, it caused fire and brimstone but it stopped.
It is very unfortunate when WASes use children to project their emotional baggage onto the LBS. I don't have kids so I don't have much of a reference point other than with my nephews.
I would tell you to stay strong but you already are a master at that. Try not to let her words get to you. It's hard, man - all of us here are still attached, at least a little - otherwise why else would we be on a site called DB?
I'm into the marathon part of this now, too. I haven't given up yet either, but I would say for the first time I'm starting to think about it. I don't because I told myself I would do everything I possibly could. That way I would have a clear conscience. I think you might be in the same boat, man.
