22 Years Gone Part 2

[rooskers]

D13 got back from a visitation with her mother. It did not go well at all. Essentially D13 wants an apology from her mother and her mother doesn't believe that she has done anything wrong. She keeps moving the conversation back to our relationship and telling D13 that "your dad is feeding you misinformation, and if you only knew the truth." So D13 will say what is the truth then and her mom will say "you aren't old enough to know and you don't know what happened behind closed doors." Part of me would love to know as well. What does she feel happened to necessitate leaving your entire family in one day. I mean she just dropped everything and left. All she did was pack a bag and left everything else behind. It was only because D13 and I packed all her clothes that she picked up the next day, without coming near me, that she even has all her clothes.

Everyone here seems to have some sort of communication but mine is only by email and only in regards to D13 and only when I initiate that like letting her know about therapy appointments (not that I am complaining). D13 was running a little behind when her mom came to pick her up and instead of coming to the door, knocking, and asking if D13 was almost ready she emails me and says she has been waiting for over 10 minutes. She can't even come to the door to pick up D13?

I can't even begin to understand what misinformation she thinks I am feeding D13 because I don't even really talk about her all that much. Mostly I just answer questions when D13 asks them. She might be referring to the alleged affair the second BD but that didn't come from me it came from D13 because she had seen them together. I didn't even know about it until after she had left and D13 told me about it. She denies anything happened to this day and keeps telling D13 that she must have seen someone else holding hands with him and it wasn't her. Regardless D13 tries to tell her mother that the anger has to do with how she feels her mother is treating her not about the other stuff. D13 says her mother says I am sorry and starts crying but can't say what she is sorry for then when D13 puts her on the spot her mother just gets angry and then after that tries to make D13 feel guilty and the cycle goes on and on.

D13 says her mother wants to get a new therapist because she doesn't like D13's therapist. I can't imagine why since D13's therapist calls her mother out on things all the time when they are having a session together. D13 tells me that her therapist is always telling her mother "that isn't what you said last time in the session we had alone together." D13's therapist even told D13 that her mother tried to lecture her on how to be a good mother. I laughed that my XW was lecturing a therapist specializing in children on how to be a good mother.

After their huge blowup during the visitation where D13 started calling her mother by her first name, told her she isn't her mother anymore except in a biological sense, that she doesn't like her as a person, and doesn't want to work or have a relationship at all with her currently or in the near future, my XW goes downstairs and cooks lunch. When D13 goes down to ask to leave XW is as happy and bubbly as ever. How can someone switch on a dime like that and act as if nothing even happened? It doesn't make sense to me. D13 said she acted as if the conversation didn't even happen.