Yes I have Unchien (the feeding squirrel). I have to resist the strong urges to input my 2 cents when she opens up.

I need to keep in mind that my emotions don't need to fluctuate with hers. I'm responsible to myself and she is to herself and I don't need to be roped in. I don't think she's back to normal at all, but I think she is on her way which is a huge shift from where she was.

I think I've always had R hope despite how bad things were just because I FEEL like I know who she is - but you're right in that if she changes that is separate from me and I have no control over it. So while I'm hopeful that our marriage is moving in a better direction I also know that my happiness isn't determined by whether she is in my life or not.

I have control over my life and my happiness and she has control of hers. The less I let her influence my mental state the stronger I become on my own.

Thanks for the word of caution!

H 37
W 31
S 2

T: 7
M: 4

BD 12/18
Separated 2/19
Living back together 04/06/2019
W Moved out again 07/15/2019