One year in...

[Jac12]

Sorry guys - I switched my name as I thought maybe my W had found it but I don't think she has. This is Jac12.

It seems as though my W is slowly coming back to normal. She came early to spend the evening with our son and she even called and asked if I wanted to hang out before he wakes up from his nap. I was here anyways so I said sure.

She brought up some talks and basically broke down and was wondering how she got like this. She said: "I don't know what happened to me". As noted in my situation - she has had a rough couple years with likely post-partum depression, grieving her dad's death, and just disconnected from all of those closest to her over a span of 2 years.

Without going into detail we had a good chat and we were both open although I tried hard to talk less than her. I think I did ok. I just reiterated that right now it's most important that she does the work on herself to heal. If that opens up the door for us to get our family back together than we will deal with that then. I told her it was great to see that she's aware of all of this and is trying to put herself back together as a lot of people would continue the self-sabotage.

She's out of her condo at the end of the month and I told her it would probably be best that she moves in with her mom for a bit while she's doing her counselling but I would support her if she needs me.

I cut the conversation as it felt like we had said and discussed a lot of things. She seemed very broken - which is a good thing as far as getting herself back on track.

I think it's interesting for the newbies on here to realize that the best thing they can do with a WAW is to give them the space they are asking for. No pleading, begging, convincing, etc because it won't matter when they are in that state and it does more harm than good. She's been way more receptive to things I've said over the past 6 weeks but it's only because her state is changing.

I still don't know if we will ultimately get back together but these are steps in a better direction. I'll remain guarded but open when we communicate.