I would allow him to come to you when he is ready to talk.
If you haven't done so already, I would have a chat w/a lawyer to see what you are options are, if it comes down to a legal separation/divorce. Whatever you learn, do not discuss it w/him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.