Happy New Year Everyone. I intentionally stayed home this year for some needed solitude. Brother and mother invited me over. Declined. Landlord invited me to party upstairs. (Sounded like a stampede up there...lol) Talked with buddy/band mate on phone tonight. He chilling by himself. Had a rough day emotionally. Went numb again. Not because of NYE or being alone. Just past thoughts spanning back 13 years, successes and failures, where life is going in what direction, what progresses and changes have been made. etc.. Feelings and thoughts are funny man. Really letting go and partially letting go really does take time. But I'm determined to choose it everyday. Still figuring myself out with that in solitude which is a good thing. Sometimes we miss someone or who they were terribly and other times were just good doing our own thing focusing on ourselves.
Buddy actually emailed me Corey Wayne's How to be 3% Man . Finding it to be a great read and loving it in its sensible way and delivery. Actually read most of my posts from a year ago. I know it was probably heavy-laden with all of writing I did hear on DB. I'm glad I did it though since it acts as a reflection and a journal entry from where people were, are, and where they are going. Man a lot has changed in my thinking, circumstances and such as far as living life. Like to put more of that into action and practice in this year. I really really really want to express nothing but absolute gratitude to everyone here for being so attentive, listening and supportive and patient, especially in the beginning. I understand a lot of the things now that you guys said then, much more profoundly. Its funny how most of us here reflect on our entire 1yr. 2yr. Or however many years and realize we are no longer the same person we were, but kind of are in a sense. Some people change radically in a short amount of time and some people change slowly over time.
Just wanted to say God bless everyone of you and I hope you guys work torward being the best version of yourself in 2020. Love you all.
