Scout's QLC journey #2

[Rita]

That message will backfire. Believe me, I speak from experience. I have written far far less than that and received far far worse in return.

Thinking like that also pulls you into the never-ending game of self-justification. You have ZERO control over your H and even less over what your MIL or anyone else thinks. Your H may obviously be crazy but not to them. Again, I speak from experience. I was with my H since 1995. He is very very clearly crazy. In response to a very nice note from me saying I hoped we could keep being a family, my MIL told me in June of last year she never wanted to see me again.

Here's my suggestion -- and I would skip talk of the OW but if if you want to say something about OW in your note, here's how I would include it -

Dear MIL --

I wanted to let you know that I will always welcome your loving relationship with S1 in his life, and I would be glad to make arrangements with you to see him at times that work for us both. As I have sole custody of S1, I always have to try to figure out what is best for him, from scheduling naps to scheduling time with all the people who love him. So if you would like to see S1 outside of the visitation H has via the court system, you would need to reach out to me directly.

I am sure you know that I am broken-hearted at all that is happening -- I mean, not just because of the adultery but because of losing the wonderful family life I thought we were building, and that included extended family.

I know S1 will benefit so much from having loving grandparents in his life and I know we all want to protect him from any feelings of anxiety or confusion in the months and years ahead.

Love,

Scout

[DS9]

Happy new year scout, to you and your little one!

Loved the message. A real b$tch slap to H. As gerda said, never to be sent of course.

Remember too grandparents have standing in oz to seek time spent arrangements if they really get motivated enough.

Cheers ds

[job]

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Scout's QLC journey #3