Hi. I am new too so I do not have advice. Just reaching out to provide support, to let you know you are not alone and that you have to come to a place that will help you through this journey. My H's BD was also in November and he stays in the basement. We have split out our finances too so they are more separated.
It seems like a good sign to me that you all are communicating more, having better intimacy and sharing household responsibilities. Hang in there.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years