So well stated unchien. A lot of my understanding of NGS had been around being passive-aggressive and covert contracts. I wasn't aware of the piece about placing self-worth in someone else's hands. Thank you for probably one of the best explanations I've seen on the board.
I'm right there with you on the feelings of it being too late for some of our discovered issues, but knowing we will be better moving forward. I unearthed many, many of my own shortcomings this past year. I wish I learned these lessons sooner while still in my M. But I didn't, so instead I will take them with me and try my hardest to keep learning along the way.
************ Journaling:
It's NYE! I'm a little disappointed in that it seems a farmer I had connected with isn't able to get me the specific product I had inquired about. I don't blame her, as it was something kind of custom that she hadn't planned on making this year. But also part of me was excited for a food challenge (I LOVE cooking new things!)
I had hoped she could make me cotechino, which is an Italian sausage that is cooked on NYE with lentils to bring prosperity. In all honesty, it's probably best if I don't make it. I told her I'd need the product for "6 - 8 people" because part of me wondered if I'd throw together a dinner party. Nope - just me - and I really don't need sausage for 8 people.
In thinking about this farmer, I feel the need to connect with her in 2020. I think her size farm is something I'm very interested in learning more about, and perhaps I can study with her a bit. She doesn't have goats, but something is drawing me to her.
I'm really examining my budget and decided I need to quit drinking because it's expensive, and also slash my grocery bill because I like nice food. I'm thinking January will be a challenge to see how low I can get the bill with meal planning while still eating wholesome, real food. I hope to make bread and yogurt weekly, and baked oatmeal for breakfasts. Perhaps several soups since my family got me a crock pot for my birthday a few weeks ago.
OH and I got a Kitchenaid mixer for Christmas! I'm no longer without!
I plan on reconnecting with "The Artists Way" next weekend, which I let slide. I plan on studying my PHP skills to prepare for my March class (*insert swearing at PHP*). I hope to take the very best care of myself in January and February before my classes start up again, and I find myself busy. If I make good habits the first two months I think I can continue them throughout the year.
And I will somehow pull together a new life plan in 2020. I will keep my vision of a small home and bit of land for homesteading in my minds eye, and figure out how to get there. It won't be in 2020, but I hope I can lay the groundwork by saving and/or studying.
A year of groundwork. That sounds appropriate. Time for Yail to dig-in and take charge. My Year of Risks. Just writing this makes me so excited.
Ok. No more lazing about. Time to get ready for the day, get a biga for bread started, and hit the town. Fresh air is needed.
