A year on and standing

[ToSmile]

Looking for some opinions. I am not sure if there are some changes going on but I am still doing my detachment and keeping my distance. I intend to still do so and sit by the banks than threading into murky water.

Some of these events happened the past couple of days.

For her work, she had been relocated to another institution that is very near to our place.

1. On a weekday drive to work, she suddenly mentioned about her colleague whom bought her car together with us had changed to a new car. Seems better and etc. I told her I ever thought of changing too in the past.

If she wanted to change to a new car, it is ok to proceed. Then she mentioned she will consider after the divorce process and subjected to where she lives post divorce. Then I told her yeah, you decide yourself then.

2. I threw a party over the weekend at the request of my children to invite all family members (including the in laws). I left the invitation of her family to her. At first she seem reluctant to invite her family members. But in the end, she extended the invitation to them although they could not make it as a couple of them fell sick due to the weather.

In the beginning she intended to prepare a dish for the event (I was doing the rest of the cooking). However after knowing her parents are not coming, she starts to mention that there seems to be too much food. I told her well, if you don't intend to prepare the dish, it's fine. I will replace it with something else. To which, she never provided me a reply.

The next day waking up in the morning, I asked her one more time. So you sure you are not preparing the dish? Then I will not be getting those ingredients. She kept quiet again. Until a while later then she asked me: "Why you don't want me to prepare the dish?"

I replied: "Well I thought you no longer want to do it. But if you want to, I'll just get the ingredients." Then she said ok yeah she will be preparing the dish. She was just thinking that the kitchen would be too crowded with the preparation and such. I told her well, what time you would need the kitchen and I will just pass it to you. She told me the time and I kept it at that.

3. Initially she told me that she will be going out in the evening at the time we are having the house party. I told her sure go ahead. I was expecting her to skip the party totally. But later, she actually stayed for a while and wait till everyone is here, ate some stuffs and mingle with them. Then as she was leaving, she asked me if she could grab some of the dish she prepared to her friend's party for them to try? I told her by all means go ahead. (Rarely she told me where she is going to but she mentioned this time round)

4. Yesterday, I intended to bring the kids out for an evening stroll when she suddenly mentioned that there is a gathering at her friend's place. She would like to bring the kids there and if I would like to join? I agreed might as well because I was intending to spend some time with the kids too.

As we were preparing to leave the house, she was getting a bit impatient as I was using the dressing room and she wanted to retrieve something. Then she asked me why I felt like going with them? I can choose not to go.( To think she was the one who asked me if I wanted to go?)

To which, I replied her: "I am going with you'll because I have originally intended to spend time with the kids and I am going for them. If you can handle them, sure by all means go ahead. I'm going to make my own plans." Then she switch around and said "well since you already wanted to go, lets just go together." I just smile at her and left the room.

Then we left the house and got into the elevator with the kids and I put on a new pair of shades I got. I was someone whom never wear any shades previously and I got a pair as part of my GAL. Then in front of the kids, she tried to make some funny remarks about me wearing shades. I told her: "Well, you may have your own prerogatives. To each their own." I think that caught her in surprise too and stopped her comments.

5. After the gathering, she told me that she and her friends are planning a family trip which include all kids sometime next year and asked if I would like to join them? I told her well, should be fine. Just let me know when it is. Surprised she asked me. More expecting that she will say she is going for a trip with the kids and leave it as that.

6. She posted some photos of the gatherings during this festive period which she joined with my family and my close friends on her social media. Something which she had not done since BD. Also, She used to keep her hair long because her mum likes her with that. Before BD, she cut her hair short and maintained it all the way during this period. Yesterday I overheard her friend asking if she is growing back her tress and she mentioned yeah she is.

7. On NYE, we will be having a gathering at her brother's place. I had told her previously that after the gathering, I will be bringing the kids to my cousin's place as she invited us. Then earlier, she came to ask me again if I did mention I have another party after her brother's place? I told her yes I did. My cousin invited and I am bringing along the kids. If she likes to, she can join us. Then she replied: "Oh, ok. She forgot I mentioned that." Leaving it open that she might be joining us? I was kind of expecting a "you guys go ahead"

Things felt slightly different after the incident which my boy threatened to kill himself. I do not know if the event had cause some cracks on her shell or she is just swirling in the fog. It also seems like she is having amnesia about things now and then.

Any comments about the above occurrence?