Ill try and reframe my mind that way, and plan more activities with S2. But I still have to balance and bear in mind that that can be abused. But you are right IW I need to make this less about XW and I and more about S2 and I. Im on LRT going dark. With mediation potentially happening in Jan. No date set yet. Logic, reality and experience tells me I have no hope in R. My faith tells me otherwise. So yeah I am at a conflict with myself daily for months on end over it. I won't push this car or M over the cliff willingly. Ill bring it up to the edge with tactics that really don't benefit me but in a way they do with my healing and distance. She's going to have to give it that last push and see it all the way through with what she started. Once mediation is final, decree is stamped and approved and XW house is sold and I get my cut.. Then I will have my closure. It ain't over till its over. I sure as hell ain't going to fight for the M but I'm not going push it off the cliff either. Its just best I back off. Focus on me and stay away until that day comes. When it does come Ill do what best for everyone and what everybody needs. (Notice I said needs not wants.) When that day comes to fruition. Then I will see what is down the road apiece.
