Have been reflecting on the past few days. Christmas Day was hard, but now I’me feeling ok about it. Once I had journaled my thoughts it was a weight lifted. I was encouraged by the replies that it’s ok to feel these thoughts emotions, it’s what I do with them. Old me would have fixated on them with negative behaviour, thoughts and attitude. I speak to myself everyday, reminding myself to use PMA, be the lighthouse, be the energy for myself and by extension those around me.
This got me thinking though, whilst continuing to stick to LRT and dBing it occurred to me that there is a 180 that I haven’t managed. It seems to be counter intuitive with the above techniques. I think a complaint my W would justifiably level at me is that I was emotionally withdrawn and I wonder how I can express this via action rather than words? For it to be a change, I would need to be calling her or texting first instead of the reactive state I currently and probably always have done. It’s a conundrum I’m stuck for any idea that wont undo any other changes. Could do with some guidance!
