My thinking is to sit her down and calmly explain that I am done living in an open relationship. Tell her to please respect my need for space and that I have some things I need to think about regarding moving forward for myself.
Don't. Show her instead. Don't call, text, etc. No comms, period!
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I don't know if she will reach out, although that tends to be her reaction. Very quickly. It terrifies me, because I have been so weak to this in the past. I gave her a letter in May detailing my need for her to end things or not contact me. One week later she did just that ended things with OW and called me in a panic. When I found out they were still sleeping together, I told her I needed space. Two days later and she was back in "Baby, I don't ever want to lose you" mode. It's been a whirl wind of emotions. So my gut says that she most likely will panic and end things to come home, only to waffle in her decision once again. I don't think my heart could take it again. I'm most scared of that reaction and how to respond so I don't get hurt again at that level.
If you read my sitch, going NC was the thing that helped my W realize her feelings for me. Now I went NC 2 or 3 times, and my W would freak the hell out, but she ran back to OM. But it still helped, like last Christmas she came running home crying saying she wanted to be with me. Now I was no DB ninja so I caved too quickly, but I did get a commitment out of it, had 1 more setback, and here we are now talking about kids and life plans.
My advice is to go NC (at least a few days) for a while and stay that way until she promises a 100% commitment or you are navigating the divorce process. NC is statistically the best way to get an ex back. Your W has strong feelings for you, so by going NC you let her see how bad she wants you, you stop the cake eating, you make her desperation help her decide what she really wants, you gain your space and clarity. But you can't keep hanging out with her and being physically and emotionally open if you want her to make a change.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
