I think her goal is managing a long separation while the kids are young so she can avoid going back to work as long as possible. She has never actually stated a goal. But it's clearly not to work on the MR.
Be careful mind-reading, here - it could be anything. Step out of "the why", you stop going because you don't want to go with someone who won't work on the MR. You have a boundary here, and you set it.
Guilty as charged on the mind-reading.
I think it's okay to periodically mind-read as long as it's a shallow dive and not one where I spend a lot of energy or time on it. And also as long as I don't assume I've arrived at "the answer" - which was my mistake above.
The fact is, it is absolutely to her benefit to drag this out, and it is to my benefit to make this as short as possible. The reasons don't matter, but the incentives to each of us are clear.
