(I am a mom) so that would be my main and only focus
You are in a different situation being dad and I would follow the advice of the L to secure more custody at least 50/50 so you can provide a stable home for your boys. saying that, I would help as seems appropriate for the boys and if the kids are in danger and struggling , I would try to push L for quicker results with custody agreement
We don't really know what happened to your W.. I would guess she had a fantasy life planned (maybe her friend did influence but that is done) and she thought it would evolve if she left..It may be MLC or Mental illness or both, and if it is a true MLC..it will probably take many years Many MLCers do have substance abuse issues even if they get a prescription or two for anxiety I would watch for that..many start drinking or using other drugs as well- nothing is off limits for a mlcer she is not the same wife you had and you will see many alarming changes especially if MLC is the issue
BUT at this time no one can really know what will happen only time will tell and you will gain clarity in time
Usually a therapist will encourage M and a productive lifestyle and choices /unless there is abuse and if her therapist cant see her illness, she is probably a pretty bad therapist
What can you do: Make sure the kids are safe,,be a stable parent for them Focus on you to heal to get counseling/support and grieve the loss and sudden change in your life
Meditate, pray continue your walk with God join support group find a hobby try to keep busy
Patience to wait until the answers and solutions are available
protect your assets and your kids (the MLCer will take everything and everyone down with them) they usually become terrible parents as well
time will heal you..and many of the LBS(US) create new lives
Hang in
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
