I wouldn’t close your mind to any changes the h seeks particularly if they are minor and can be leveraged for your own advantage. Take legal advice as to any changes. If this ever goes to court you don’t want to be painted as the rigid inflexible mother who wouldn’t countenance any changes sought by h.
The sick son situation is just awful. Respectfully, h was a feckless child and that behaviour is deeply troubling. I hope that was an aberration. I get the sense you had 2 children you were looking after
Anyway your story about S not napping gave me memories! My enduring memory when my s was little was my swollen sore feet and ankles. Nearly every night I’d walk him for about a hour to get him to sleep and man it became gruelling!
Cheers ds
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24