Met with my church minister the other day. He indicated she is struggling with living arrangements and finance, and that I should be helping out with that in the best interests of the kids and getting them some security and normality.
My family/friends don’t agree. While I’m being asked to turn the other cheek and be incredibly generous, I’m getting letters from her lawyer about wanting to accelerate financial settlement and she is still giving me minimal access to the kids.
I’m sorry her life is hard, but these decisions are her responsibility. I can’t rescue her any more, I can’t keep rolling over and being the bigger person - because that just perpetuates the problem we’ve had for two years now. No responsibility, bad decisions, hurtful and premeditated abuse. If she wants rescuing from this, she’s going to have to do it herself. I can’t keep trying to save her, because it makes me too vulnerable to getting hurt.
If this is going to have a happy ending, she’s going to have to decide for HERSELF that’s what she wants. Any other solution is just a waste of time. I’ve told her how I feel, I’ve told her what I want and the behaviour is not changing.
I’m not closing the door because my vow was my vow. And I know she’s confused and unwell, but solving her difficulties right now is actually the worst thing I can do for her long term future.
I just need to keep concentrating on me, and leaving everything else to God. One day at a time...
Last edited by job; 12/29/1901:14 PM. Reason: edited a sentence for the poster
