Stranger In My House

[may22]

Someone please talk me down off the ledge. Today I feel like giving up. I saw H commented inappropriately on another woman's social media post (not the first time) and now I am feeling like what is the use in standing for this shell of a marriage? What is left of it to even stand for? I don't know how long I can deal with his disrespectful behavior. I have been crying off and on all morning.

We spent Christmas with the kids and his behavior was much better, but now he is back to his usual it seems. I don't feel like I can endure this long term.

I know I need to focus on my kids, GAL, 180 and all that but it is just so hard. My sister tells me to stay off social media and I won't see this stuff.

Hi HesAble,
You can do this. There is so much happening at this time of year that it makes everything harder, and I think it also-- for me at least-- feel like I want to either pretend this isn't happening or push for some kind of resolution. I'm sure that the physical intimacy is adding to how you're feeling now, but I know how hard it is to turn off those feelings-- and/or, to feel like he was able to just turn it right back off again.

Staying off social media is a great idea-- so you won't see his garbage, but also so you don't have to have all the other happy family holiday photos shoved in your face. (That has been hard for me, even though I know that the likelihood is other couples are struggling with some of the same issues we are... what is wrong with our society that no-one wants to share this stuff with their friends? I don't want to-- yet-- because I'm still hoping that this can somehow be resolved without people needing to find out because they'll really judge him (and me for sticking with him)-- but am ever so grateful for this community where we can be open and know that there are people there to help and who understand.)

Is there something small you can do to relax? Even just wash your face, make a cup of tea or something warm, grab a good book or a brainless TV show? Take the kids to a movie? Something that can get your mind off of what is happening with H? I read here a lot that it isn't good to make decisions in the heat of emotion, so letting these emotions wash over you, recede, and then seeing how you feel in a day or two could help. There is no need to rush.

Hang in there.