LH is right. I would advise against what I did. In my case, when I said that Christmas of 2017 after BD, I caught her in one her "not sure cycles". So her response of backpedaling and saying she had hoped not to say anything until after the holidays, and that she hoped by then the feeling of wanting out would go away, was not typical. Oz as you found her response was different.

I also phrased mine differently. "Wow, I just realized that this will be the last time I get together with your family for Christmas." The way you worded yours I could see why she was confused at first.

Not sure of your dynamic with her family, but my W's family adores me. In fact, I said the above as we were getting ready to head to dinner with her family. After dinner her 97 yearold grandmother hugged me and went on a long diatribe about what a great husband and father I am, how lucky my W was to have me, and that she prays for me all the time. Right in front of my W.

To put this all in perspective, later that week was when my wife went into the bathroom for 2 1/2 hours and was taking and sending nude photos to OM.

So no don't temp check unless you're ready to have your grapes squashed.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018