So, I just found out H's sister is pregnant. Due in April. This hit me pretty hard for a few reasons.
1) None of H's family thought to tell me when I talked to them multiple times this last month. 2) The new baby girl would have been my niece and now I won't have any relationship with her. 2) SIL had her first daughter a week before I had S1 and it's a reminder than H has taken my choice to have a second baby away from me. We had always planned on two children.
I know that I could technically have another child with another man. It's not what I want. I wanted a whole, complete, unbroken family. H has destroyed my immediate family and my extended family. He didn't spend Christmas Day with his family - MIL let that slip. Guessing he was with OW. Family may not be important to him, but it's everything to me. All this destruction and pain he has caused so many people just for the sake of a 21 year old girl?! This is not helping my emotional state.
Months ago, when I told H I could no longer participate in his family group chat, I explained that it was hard for me to see photos of Niece, and the fun family times they were having without me, and that it hurt me too much because I didn't feel like part of the family anymore. Can you understand that? I implored H, still caring so much at that point that he understood my motives were pure. He just stared at me with dead eyes and shrugged. "No". WTF.
I'm not angry. I'm just sad. I entrusted my deepest hopes and dreams to this weak and shallow person, and he threw them all away in his pursuit of so-called happiness. If anyone is reading tonight, I would love a word of encouragement.
