This is more of a rant, but please add any comments for my sanity....please.
First thing is, my D15 has turned so cold and distant towards me during all of this MLC BS. she has latched onto W because they are both the same level age wise right now. I know that I have done really good in controlling emotions. I know that she will come to see the whole picture one day. but it makes me so mad that W seems to have no feelings on the issue.
Also, she did not call S21 on Christmas. I can see he is not sealing well with her cold heartless attitude. her and him always had a good relationship, before all of this.
Lastly, she has been posting those lame meme's on facebook about how 2020 is going to be the best year, how she shedded dead weight...blah blah blah. is all of this to dig at me, see if I will respond?
I feel like I want to let her know that I still want her back and how much I still love her, and will wait. but I know that is the wrong thing to do. I know I need to wait for her to reach out to me during NC.
I have become more aware the past couple weeks during this NC, that has nothing to do with her and everything to do with my personal growth as a LBS. but I hate it, I cant wait to be happy and confident that what the Lord wants to happen, will happen.
I honestly believe that I have reached a point where I have found my emotional center. I am not racked with depression/anxiety , but I don't feel like I see hope. I hope that I start to lean that way real soon.
