KG, I think this is a good decision. And even when making it, I get the sense part of you thinks she'll follow you shortly after. I say this because a small part of me felt the same way, despite my words to the contrary.
The good thing about this process is you don't have to let go all at once. You can do it in stages. When it gets to be difficult just remind yourself that no one can read the future. You don't have to let go of hope for the future if you don't want to, but you do have to let go of the now. And by "now" start by thinking of that as a 2 year time period. Anything less than that is not enough. You will be making choices for KG and ONLY KG for 2 years, with zero input from WW. Want to quit your job and start a new one? Great! You don't have to check in with WW. Want to go on a solo vacation and spend a bit over budget? YAY!
This mentality is something that helped me tremendously. I still don't know what future, if any, my XW and I may have. Perhaps we reconnect in 10 years. Perhaps in 5 she is meant to become my friend. But not now. Right now I'm only 1 year after she said she wanted to get a D, and that's still a very short period of time. So for now the answer is still "no". It's too fresh, it's too raw, and she is not what is good for me now. Of course, I don't have her banging down the door either looking for any contact, which makes it easier.
There's something to be said for discovering how to get your groove back. It can be thrilling to rediscover yourself, and to see growth. Focus on this. This is why I joke about bathroom dance parties and redoing your make-up.
What will you be saying to WW exactly? You said "a request for space". I feel like you've done that before, and I'm thinking it's up for interpretation and debate. "Space" is vague.
I think you need to tell her exactly what you're looking for, and that may include the words "separation" and/or "divorce". Those are difficult words. I think you need to consider some legal options for protection as well.
What happens if you ask for a separation and WW gets mad (it happens), and vindictive? Every single one of us has been blindsided by something we did not expect from our previously loving spouses. It is best to be realistic and protect yourself. Perhaps a separation order where it states you are not liable for any financial decisions she makes. What if she goes and buys a new car and now you have new debt attached to your name/credit? I urge you to think carefully and not make decisions out of fear, panic, or undue trust.
You need to request back your key to the apartment, and if you share custody of the pups you need an agreed upon schedule in writing with zero surprises allowed.
We just want to identify how she can sneak back into your life and interrupt it, because she is going to try. Cutting off those options now is key to your healing.
I'm sorry Christmas was strange. Do you have fun NYE plans?
