I realized when my oldest son came to me and was suggesting another single woman I could date, really put it into perspective of how he feels about the situation. As for my youngest son he has gravitated more and more to me everyday. His fear is of us splitting up. He begged me this morning to not let the lady come look at the house. I felt badly for him as he doesn't want us to split up. He is an anxious child by nature. I mean he use to would "throw up" before basketball games. Divorce is going to really have an affect on him.
Through all of this she has been rebellious and very reckless. Like I said it is a wonder she hasn't got pregnant. Her response in the past was it will never happen and the chances are very slim at her age. She is lost, out of control, and living on the edge.
I am slowly trying to divorce her emotionally but she tries to keep the hook in me. Whether it be trying to hug me or slip into my bed, or coming into my room to try and be playful, or walking around the house flaunting her body for me to see.
I guess I will go straight to my room and lock the door. Unfortunately I need to see and be with my kids when I get home. Her tactics of coming on to me and trying to use her sex appeal are very difficult to guard against. She is a "trophy wife" as I've been told way to many times. I guess I'll have to learn to have strong self-control, but it is very difficult. It's hard to get back respect after I have messed up way to many times in the past 6 months.
I am going to try and continue to stay dark and move in that direction. All my friends are married so I may have to start doing things alone. I went to a movie alone and it was liberating. I had a good time and enjoyed watching Jumanji. Had many laughs.
