I cheated, we survived, now my wife's cheating

[JC08]

So I have been trying hard to detach, to go dark, to only discuss kid stuff, to be happy and up beat around her. Basically follow all the rules. But Im learning that I suck at detaching, I have been doing good until Christmas and she takes the kids to his house for Christmas, shows up with a new diamond necklace, on and on. She seriously says and thinks we can be good friends, wants us to talk and have good conversation, and just be happy with each other.

She want all of this even though she pushes forward hard with divorce, even though she pushing to sell the house and the land, so we start back over at square one.

I get and completely understand we have to communicate because we have four children, but where does she get off telling me that she never thought she would see the day after 16 years that we couldn't carry on normal conversation, even when we were at our worse(this is at our worse), that we always talked and had good conversation.

Does she not understand that if she wants a divorce so bad that she get none of me? If you want out so bad, if we are not good enough to work on, if you had to turn to another man and never look back that I'm not going to be your BFF anymore?

Because every time I try to be nice and be friendly she usually just ramps up how much she loves me but can't be married to me. How she never wants me out of her life, just not as her husband. Fine I get it, but you don't want me, then im not going to be here for scraps of your love.