I’m almost 5 years out and in an amazing relationship and I really was blessed with a super supportive family that sided and supported me immediately post BD. God. Even his family was kind of like wtf. I was so lonely and unhappy in my marriage. Even before the marriage. I just didn’t know what partnership could be like cause I settled young. My ex was nice enough, and back then I figured he didn’t cheat. But we weren’t compatible. I honestly would be shocked if he ever remarried or settled in with a long term partner.
Whats growth for me is that I am so happy with my new partner that I don’t care about my ex. Being in an incredible relationship, made me see what I was missing all those years. When i was devastated, family members would tell me “you can’t see it now. But someone is gonna snatch you up and you are gonna realize how bad your ex is” and “why the hell do you want him back? What kind of guy does that?” And I would taut to them all the crap I was reading by some of the posters here and on MWDs book. But that wasn’t for me. It’s a money making business. Offering hope. Like psychics and weird holistic healing methods that cost a lot.
I think that a better message for newcomers is to Not fix your marriage with someone that’s destroying your life - in the name of god or family or the myth that all marriages have universal issues we can work through. Some people are just not capable of being partners. Better off alone. Cut your losses early. The person that deserves you is the person willing to work for you.
Anyway I am finally over him. I know that cause I would be happy if he met a good woman and got his life straightened out. I do get annoyed about being financially gypped - he pays me late and i have to stay on top of him and I am repulsed by that. Even more repulsed that he he tries getting less then his 20 percent of parenting time. But I have no jealousy or feelings for him. I do feel bad that my son got him for a dad though. And I am struggling with my son. Common in situations like this. But something I have to devote more research on and time.
Anyway- thanks for reading. Just wanted to update and get stuff out. It’s so much better when your life is filled with the right people. And I wish I recognized how to identify the right people earlier.
