My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 7

[ovrrnbw]

Thanks for responding Job. That was a tough hour or so for me. I had a couple ups and downs emotionally that day, but I have become adept at handling those now and I know how to pull out of the nosedives.

I was driving to work this morning, through the winding woods from my semi rural subdivision into the suburbs where I have my office. It's unseasonably warm, we had Christmas dinner on the patio last night. I am thinking to myself, should I talk to my W about her threatening divorce a couple weeks ago? I have lots of thoughts like this, where I am looking to her for the answer, hoping it will be one that I want to hear. It hit me this morning that there is just no sense in worrying about that. My time and my mind is better spent deciding for myself how to think, feel, and act about all of these issues.

I love her still, but our love is not the same. I'm not 100% comfortable with all the thing I used to love to do like act goofy, call her pet names, or tell her my deepest fears. But I'm actually telling myself every day that I'm going to do the right thing in every situation. I'm not going to say sorry as part of my daily routine (thanks Hoosjim), and I won't need to either. Anyways, what I realized this morning is that it doesn't matter what she says for the most part, I can carve my own path here. I'm going to do that and let the chips fall where they may.

She's looking for any excuse to scream divorce and no matter how much you do for her and the inlaws, it will never be enough in your wife's eyes.

Now I'm not sure that she is looking for any excuse to scream divorce, this is the first time it's been mentioned since March and this is not a serious mention IMO. I do agree that no matter what we do for the in laws that it will never be enough in W's eyes. I agree in empowering myself as well. I'm thinking I'll tell the FIL just one on one that I can't do it, I have my own business to look after and to leave me and my W out of it. That will be the hardest part for the inlaws, not telling my W that. But hey, let the chips fall where the will and all that.

On another note, W has been talking about having kids. Obviously I gave her a WTF look after her divorce threat. Then she brought it up a few more times and I just told her I don't think we are ready, it would be at least a year or two. She didn't like it. The truth hurts sometimes.

Everyone who went through a tough Christmas - it gets better. It gets a lot better when you decide you are ready for it to get better. Attitude, thoughts, actions, feelings. Thanks for all the support everyone.