It's Christmas night and I just felt like posting an update. Sometimes just writing things out helps me feel better.
From all outward appearances, we just had a "nice" family Christmas. My wife cooked a nice dinner on Christmas Eve, we all spent time together as a family (me, wife, and our young kids); wife and I got the kids to bed and then worked together to wrap the Christmas gifts for a couple hours. We were polite, like "friends with kids" or something, I don't know. Inside I was a wreck of emotions, however.
Today we woke from our separate bedrooms when the kids got up early and we all went downstairs to open presents from Santa. She cooked a nice Christmas breakfast. We went to church together and shook hands at "peace" time, as is (now) usual, instead of kissing. We came home, the kids opened more gifts from one another etc. (neither my wife nor I got each other any gifts, for the first time since we were together; we didn't speak about it, it just seemed to be understood). She cooked a nice Christmas dinner. We watched a Christmas film together as a family; she even let herself sit next to me (although still at a good distance) on the sofa while we watched the film; she even brought me a drink of her own initiative when she got up to get one for herself. She was polite and her usual good mother self to our kids.
Hi Rushton,
I'm going through the same thing. Three months post in-house separation. Trying to make it work for the kids and keep the peace.
You must learn to detach and do a 180. It's very difficult. You've been married a few years more than me. I asked W if she wanted a Christmas present and she said yes and got me one too.
We were invited around a friend's house for dinner.
You can make the in-house separation last as long as you can hold on and hope for R but to do this you need to detach all the way and this won't happen overnight.
