W is still walking around in her tunnel, unable to see beyond its emotional walls.
From pride for OM, defending OM, mocking about “this is not what you want to hear”, telling you to be nice, crying, upset that you are in an R, to smug. Then on to worry about what her parents may or may not hear about.
Oh, she sounds like a teenager. The dumping the truce upon your shoulders and only your shoulders allows her to do whatever she wants and to blame you when she feels things went wrong or you broke the truce. Again, such an adolescent outlook. Not much inner growth shown yet. She is still baking.
Good for you taking the kids to see their Grandparents. And if that strains W’s relationship with her parents, so be it. Her actions and decisions have consequences, and the world is not here to make her fantasy a reality.
Originally Posted by Hamburg
She said it would strain her relationship with her parents if we go again. I informed her that is not the case and we are going later this week.
Most definitely keep your visit plans.
When speaking with W, instead of going head to head and trying to get her to see “that is not the case” just say “I’m sorry you feel that way”.
Let her feel right. Who cares. It’s her feelings, they are not permanent nor the truth. Right?
Let her be right. Oh, that one is tougher isn’t it. Ego. Remove your’s from the equation when dealing with her, with conflict. Right and wrong are dependent upon point of view. She will not admit nor be wrong in her mind. No point in fighting her on this. She needs to see her wrongness on her own.
And in actuality the upcoming visit probably will cause further strain between her and her parents. Still - I’m sorry you feel that way, but it is important for the children to see Grandma and Grandpa.
Enjoy the holiday season and the time with your children and GF. You’ve got a pretty wonderful life going on.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
