What you are feeling is very normal for someone who is just starting out on this journey. It will be one step forward, two steps back. It is very difficult when you have an in house separation because they are around you most of the time and yet, they are like roommates.
You did the right thing by going to the garden to compose yourself. You will get no 2x4s from me today. This holiday is extremely difficult for those who are brand new to the world of the unknown.
All you can do is breathe and dig deeper for patience and just know that tomorrow will be just a wee bit better. Keep the focus on you and the children.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
