I know it seems counter-intuitive, but as with the blame, there is nothing you can do right now or "right" now. If you are warm, affectionate or kind, he will read that as pursuit. As you sitting firmly on the anchor. That tells him he can keep it up and you'll be there. That is not going to bring about the thing you want and only keeps you in a place of expectation and rejection.
There is only one version of DB. There aren't separate ones for WAH or MLC. Just chapters in the same book. If you subscribe to the theory, and I definitely do given what I see going on (which is a function of timing and my too-long-in-coming detachment), unless they really fear that they are going to lose you, they just keep running.
Basic question is the same. Do you want a relationship with who he is now on the terms he sets (subject to change at any time), that ensures you will walk on eggshells and pretzel yourself to meet his ever-changing demands and justifications? Or do you want to regain control of your own life and fill it with people who want to be in it and contribute to it in a meaningful way? Easy for me to say that now, and totally hypocritical because I thought all the same things and worried about all the same things. I just hate to see people throw away years of their lives pining like I did.
If you detach and focus on you and your own happiness, you will be more attractive to him (or maybe someone else), you will be the person he would be a fool to leave, you make the opportunity cost of remaining in whatever this is higher, and you make him worry you might be out there dancing with someone else. Maybe he comes back as someone you know and love and want to be with, maybe he doesn't but you've found happiness and made a life.
