Also—always trying to balance all this with doing something different/180s in terms of our relationship—I know H wanted me to be more openly affectionate, which he isn’t open to post BD, obviously. I’ve been trying to be warm but detached, but of course this latest reaction from H makes me worry I am appearing more distant than I want to. But maybe he’s also surprised that I wasn’t visibly upset or fawning over him before the holiday, that I was upbeat and strong, and therefore this is a good reaction from him?
How do I know what’s working? How the heck do I walk this line?
