Thanks for the support, Own and Pax. One of the things keeping me sane right now is knowing that at least this mutual friend thinks he’s crazy, and sees how he’s spinning everything to reinforce his decision. She’s trying to be his friend too, but I think she might challenge him in a way he doesn’t want to be if he continues this behavior as he starts the D process.
*I* know he would’ve read the note, and if he wants to not mention it to anyone else because it would mess with his version of the R and the story he’s telling himself about why he doesn’t want to even TRY after 10 years of marriage, well, that’s his decision. I don’t think he can lie to himself forever, but maybe for a long time. After all, he has to protect his feeling that he isn’t being selfish right now, he’s finally acting on what he wants instead of doing what others have wanted him to do, (others ultimately = me, in his mind.)
I did tell him to have a good Thanksgiving and that I would miss sharing it with him when he decided to go on a trip with his mom instead. He cancelled Christmas for himself; maybe he was expecting me to say I would miss him again. It is hard to not text him today, but I *did* wish him a Merry Christmas... I have to remember that.
