"Walking Out Of The Valley"

[hoosjim]

Hey BB. Sorry again to see you going through this at Christmas.

I'ma throw one more thing out there,came it is this: You need to go as dark to her as you possibly can right now, while simultaneously GALing like mad and living a good life for you and your boys. Idk if you would ever be able to forgive and take your W back under the circumstances, but I DO know that the ONLY hope for you ever getting that opportunity is to completely cut the cord and drop the rope with her. Right now she is in limerance with OM, and living the fantasy of secret exciting rendezvous and the running around and cheating. Most affairs eventually die once the reality of the situation sets in: which is they have left a good, stable, supportive, trustworthy spouse to go shack up with someone who, by pretty much any definition, is a lowlife. The reality never lives up to the fantasy. But thing is, YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM SEE THIS! They have to find out on their own that the fantasy is a lie, and they have to feel the sting of loss. Right now, your W has experienced neither. At this point, I truly believe that yours, if she is ever to come back, needs to be separated from you. And that won't happen as long as she is in your house, having MR talks with you (or any talks for that matter), and playing family with you on holidays with the kids.

Infidelity and divorce is NOT an exciting fantasy... The actuality of it is deceit, and pain, and broken homes, and shattered lives... and she is going to need to see this for herself... Experience it... Before it will sink in with her.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, man. Merry Christmas... Make sure you spend as much quality time with your kids as you can.